Get all 7 Good Saint Nathanael releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Eye To Eye, May Your Memory Be Eternal, Old Guitar, Hands Held Together, Hide No Truth, Everything That's Lost, and The Beauty.
1. |
Everything That's Lost
03:43
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Born during morning chapel so much damage to unravel
Picking out the sand n’ gravel wish I could time-travel
Before the nursery through my family tree
I’d bring my boxing gloves, righteous anger - toward love
And Everything that’s lost will one day be found
Everything that’s living composted, turned around
Giving birth to flowers, melody and brand new song
Clean energy, fresh atmosphere, like ripples on a pond
Razzle, dazzle, frizzle, frazzle, swinging justice like a gavel
Inner-turmoil and battle, wish I could time-travel
Not to Galilee but through my family tree
I’d bring my boxing gloves, righteous anger - toward love
I’d say, “Peace.” “In You.”
“unleash these burdens that have bound”
And together we’d sit.
Expelling we’d expound life to this hallow breeding ground.
I’d say “There is no need for performance.”
“You can sing a new refrain”
curses have been broken over our family name.
And Everything that’s lost will one day be found
Everything that’s living composted, turned around
Giving birth to flowers, melody and brand new song
Clean energy, fresh atmosphere
like ripples, Like ripples, like ripples on a pond
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2. |
Heaven
04:55
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I’m over working for what does not satisfy
Exhausted feeling like my well is cracked and dry
I could use some fresh coffee and a slice of warm bread
Some order to this chaos swirling in my head
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are my ways your ways
Heaven calls us higher but earth begs us to stay
So over this recovery, how could there still be more
You’re dancing with your Jesus, I am crying on the floor
Singing songs of celebration, well I’m feeling ignored
My anxiety is packing up, I’m headed for the door
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are my ways your ways
Heaven calls us higher but earth begs us to stay
So I called God on the telephone said I had enough
after many years of cowering, starting to stand up
To these lies I have much stock in, the foundations of my faith
these holiness traditions these lies, I have to break!
for they've separated kindness from your unconditioned love
They made your mercy judgment, they’ve kept you up above
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are my ways your ways
Heaven calls us higher but earth begs us to stay
Heaven calls us higher but earth begs us to stay
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3. |
Concrete
06:39
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You pushed your brother into me and as it broke my leg
From the middle of the parking lot, you ran away
30 minutes cried for mercy, screamed for release
Twisted-in my bicycle on white concrete, there was no relief
As I bowed at the altar, at that summer camp in June
Never felt more invisible than as you played that never ending tune
Begging Holy Spirit visit. “Please any little sign”
My tears soaking the carpet, I sobbed until my eyes went blind
There was no divine intervention
No crowd of angels defending
There was no answer, No communication
Know time does not heal everything, No time does not heal everything
That day that you came over, I should a doubled locked the door
But I thought in my naivety, all things could be restored
As I repeated sorry, watching best friendship cease
Weeping on my face in front of you, raising the white flag of surrender and retreat
There was no glorious conclusion
No exchange for suffering
There was no hopeful resolution
Know time does not heal
No time does not heal
Know Time Does not Heal Everything
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4. |
Coming Unglued
05:36
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Tears in eyes creeping behind my thoughts
are from your words that tie me in knots
So blessed Lord Jesus, what should I do?
They say they love you and I love you too!
The widespread dysfunction that some cannot see
has me questioning God and my sanity
So blessed Lord Jesus, what should I do?
They say they love you and I love you too!
All of these questions and answers in red
Tell me these problems are not just in my head
Know they’re something more tangible an incongruent swell
They drag me down south of heaven, park me outside of hell
I sought to be capable speak words that are true
Lay down my defenses open up to you
But that plan was a failure a paper to shred
So my eyes are wide-open when I’m bowing my head
And I’m coming unglued / coming unglued
Coming unglued again
Yes I’m coming unglued / coming unglued
Coming unglued again
With no clear path forward, to avoid being crushed
Giving voice to the pain, I’ll admit my distrust
Of the people who love me, the people I know
Who cry when i’m hurting and cheer when I grow
And I’m coming unglued / coming unglued
Coming unglued again
And I’m coming unglued / coming unglued
Coming unglued again
So blessed Lord Jesus, what should I do?
They say they love you and I love you too!
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5. |
Making Repairs
05:58
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Lord I give You everything inside of me I give You everything that I can’t find
Like the letters that I wrote to myself when I was losing my mind
I bought an Ipod thought it would fix me but I haven’t plugged it in two years
I booked a tour called it vacation but everytime I leave home in tears
Call it disruptive I’d say I’m lucky I’d ruptured my internal affairs
My heart was broken, I needed a new one, new one, new one, new one
I’ll be in the basement making repairs
I got a mountain bike when I was 15, a faithful friend with nearly 20 gears
I rode it once in my new city, they stole off the back of my stairs
Call it disruptive I’d say I’m lucky I’d ruptured my internal affairs
My heart was broken, I needed a new one, new one, new one, new one
I’ll be in the basement making repairs
Another birthday, another year past
I wish I felt like celebrating
Instead the sadness is rubbing my shoulders
And the downward spiral is repeating
But it’s existential it’s not real these feeling that I must have made up
But they’re real enough that my self-hatred is something that I need to interrupt
So, Lord, I give You everything inside of me
the brokenness that I’ve been trying to hide
Like the parts inside me of that I lost when I was running so blind
Call it disruptive I’d say I’m lucky I’d ruptured my internal affairs
My heart was broken, I needed a new one, new one, new one, new one
I’ll be in the basement making repairs
I’ll be in the basement making repairs
I’ll be in the basement making repairs
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6. |
Lightning
04:40
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When the light shines in the darkness When we acknowledge our need
When the hurt meets restoration When forgiveness reaches deep
When the fallout is uncountable From the damage we have done
With shortsightedness, Uninvited-ness, What have we become?
So where no hope is found
When silence is the loudest sound
With triumphance and resound
May your love break forth as the lightning touches down
When so tiresome. Glad the day is done. When I finally close my eyes.
When there’s nothing more than “i’m so sorry for” my actions that show me incomplete.
When I split two, my sin like a corkscrew, reveals what I consider to be true
So where no hope is found
Where silence is the loudest sound
With triumphance and resound
May your love break forth as the lightning touches
May your love break forth as the lightning touches
May your love break forth as the lightning touches down
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7. |
Bombs
02:40
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I don't want to see the bombs drop anymore
I don't want to see the kingdoms fall
Know I don't want no one to hurt at all
I don't want no one to hurt at all
Hypocrisy in me is called indifference
Clinging to the safety nets held true
Jesus did you come to build an empire
Or to humbly love us like you do?
I don't want to see the bombs drop anymore
I don't want to see the kingdoms fall
Know I don't want no one to hurt at all
I don't want no one to hurt at all
A lover and a liar and an idiot
That is who I'll tell you that I am
Caught up in a world of contradictions
I will choose to trust there is a plan
I don't want to see the bombs drop anymore
I don't want to see the kingdoms fall
Know I don't want no one to hurt at all
I don't want no one to hurt at all
Know I don't want no one to hurt at all
I don't want no one to hurt at all
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8. |
Trust
03:39
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I’ve been fighting with my demons so long
That I know their family history first, middle initial and last name
I’ve been living with this fear for so long
That I know the questions asked every time it wants to come along
Many years I faltered chasing a remedy
bound by false perceptions I follow religiously
not just self-protection but a life chiseled of fear
this once was my inheritance dictator, puppeteer
Still I will trust in the name of the lord I will trust in the name
I will trust in the name of the lord I will trust in the name …. of the lord
The Lord makes my demons afraid
says fear you have to leave you may under no circumstances stay
Says anxiety you must cease
Burdens and oppressions you’ve been released
And No longer will we SUFFER in exile estranged
And No longer will we SUFFER in loneliness and shame
Says I’ll create a place of honor a home upon this earth
S’I’ll create a place of honor and you will know your worth
Yes, You will know your / you will know your / you will know your worth
I will trust in the name of the lord, I will trust in the name
I will trust in the name of the lord, I will trust in the name
I will trust in the name of the lord, I will trust in the name
I will trust in the name of the lord, I will trust in the name …. of the lord
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9. |
Better
04:13
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It’s safer on the sidewalk in the shadows out of sight
When a cutting glance of disapproval will give you frostbite
Yes it’s simple to distract yourself while knowing people die
I just focus on the task at hand, straighten up my tie
But I think we can do better, a whole lot better, a whole lot better than this
Yes I think we can do better, a whole world better than this
A cheap shot to the injured, isolated, in bad health
Is easy if you believe they did it to themselves
Yes I most often hurt the people I love
It's easy to forget that the hurting need a hug
But I think we can do better, a whole lot better, a whole lot better than this
Yes I think we can do better, a whole world better than this
But left with my devices in the hand I was dealt
I would sit on the couch lamenting how I felt
I would seek first my security ignoring cause and effect
I’d stay inside my head and never turn my neck
But it’s hard to find your footing keeping one foot in the grave
It’s hard to get momentum when you always hesitate
Yes we can travel all we want but we can’t escape
We’re all in this together with a cross-stitched fate
But I think we can do better, a whole lot better, a whole lot better than this
Yes I think we can do better, a whole world better than this
And I think we can do better, a whole lot better
To those friends and family out in the weather
To those people we’d rather punch than kiss
I think we can do better, a whole world better than this
Yes I think we can do better, a whole lot better, a whole lot better than this
Yes I think we can do better, treat the whole world better than this
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Good Saint Nathanael Kansas City, Missouri
A dance with shadows, doubts, brazen courage, blind faith, & the weight of life. This is broken gospel music scraped off of bloody floors & splintered church doors.
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